Phone calls, once the foundation of everyday communication, are rapidly giving way to text messaging in chat apps. This trend, particularly evident among young people, is no longer just a matter of convenience but a psychological phenomenon. Experts increasingly refer to ‘phone anxiety’ or ‘telephobia’—the discomfort and even fear of live conversations over the phone.
According to psychologist Leticia Martín Enjuto, the key reason for this phenomenon lies in the nature of the communication itself. A phone call is a real-time interaction that lacks the ‘safety net’ provided by text chats. The absence of time to think through responses, the impossibility of correcting a slip of the tongue, and the need to instantly react to the other person’s emotions create significant pressure. In contrast, text messaging offers complete control over the situation: you can take your time to formulate a thought, reread it, and edit before sending. This control protects against the vulnerability inherent in spontaneous dialogue.
For people prone to social anxiety, text messages become a real lifeline. A phone conversation is perceived as an unscripted social performance, heightening the fear of being judged, saying something wrong, or appearing insecure. Voice and intonation convey a wealth of emotional information that an anxious person fears revealing. Text, by contrast, allows them to create a polished and well-thought-out image, serving as a protective mechanism.
The fear of rejection also feels more acute during a phone call. Attempting to call someone is a direct request for the other person’s attention. If the call goes unanswered, it can be perceived as a personal and unambiguous rejection. At the same time, an unanswered message is easily justified by the recipient’s busyness or technical reasons, which significantly reduces psychological discomfort and doesn’t hit self-esteem as hard.
However, by replacing voice with text, we lose an irreplaceable part of communication. Human speech is not only words, but also tone, rhythm, and intonation, which convey sarcasm, empathy, or joy without the need for extra emojis. The absence of these nonverbal cues is a direct path to misunderstanding. The brain tends to fill in gaps in information, often in a negative direction: a brief message lacking the usual polite signs can easily be misinterpreted as a sign of anger or indifference.
A constant preference for text communication negatively affects empathy and the ability to actively listen. These skills develop precisely in live dialogue, where we learn to read and respond to the emotional signals of the other person. By limiting ourselves to text, we stop exercising this ’emotional muscle.’ In the long run, this can lead to relationships becoming more superficial and utilitarian, focused on exchanging information rather than building a deep connection.
The psychologist emphasizes that there are situations where a phone call is not just desirable but necessary. This applies to discussing complex and emotionally charged topics: disagreements, apologies, expressing deep feelings, or delivering bad news. Additionally, a call is irreplaceable when real support is needed for a loved one. Hearing the voice of a friend in a difficult moment is a powerful therapeutic act that no text message can replace.
How can you tell when a conversation through messages has reached a dead end and it’s time to call? Clear signals include repeated misunderstandings, feeling emotionally distant despite frequent messaging, and the need to discuss a serious topic requiring empathy. In such cases, a voice call is not just an alternative, but a key to healthy and respectful communication.
To overcome discomfort before making calls, the specialist recommends taking gradual steps. Start by calling close people with whom you feel safe. The purpose can simply be a short greeting. It also helps to think in advance of a couple of topics for conversation to avoid fearing awkward pauses. It’s important to change your attitude toward calls: see them not as a duty, but as an opportunity to hear a familiar voice and strengthen your connection, putting human interaction above technological convenience.
