The summer season, with its long days, vacation mood, and frequent gatherings with friends, creates a special atmosphere of freedom. It is during this time that many couples face an unexpected challenge: a fleeting attraction or flirtation with someone in their circle can develop into strong feelings and raise doubts about the stability of their current relationship.
Well-known Spanish family psychologist Silvia Pérez Manjavacas urges couples not to panic. According to her, feeling an attraction to someone other than your partner is not a sign that love is fading or that the relationship is doomed. The expert emphasizes that emotions cannot be fully controlled, and becoming interested in someone new is a natural reaction. What matters is not the mere fact of feeling attracted, but how a person chooses to handle it. Acknowledging your feelings does not obligate you to act on them and does not mean the bond with your partner is weakening.
The specialist explains that summertime is especially conducive to such situations. On one hand, couples spend much more time together than in the daily routine, which can lead to minor conflicts and friction. On the other hand, the relaxed atmosphere, light clothing, and abundance of sunlight stimulate the production of dopamine and serotonin. This hormonal surge increases overall well-being and attraction, creating ideal conditions for new feelings to arise even in the strongest relationships.
A psychologist advises taking an honest look at your feelings. It’s important to determine whether this new infatuation is simply a fleeting impulse driven by a craving for novelty, or if it signals unmet needs within your primary relationship. Ask yourself: what emotions does this person evoke, and could this attraction be an attempt to compensate for something lacking in your relationship with your partner?
One of the most difficult questions in such a situation is whether to tell your partner everything. Silvia Pérez Manjavacas notes that there is no universal answer. The decision depends on many factors: the depth of your feelings, the strength of the relationship, and the ability of both partners to handle such information appropriately. Before starting an honest conversation, consider whether it will bring clarity or only make things worse, strengthen trust or cause unnecessary pain.
While considering your options, the expert suggests applying ’emotional first aid’ techniques to help regain control of the situation. First, it is important to acknowledge and accept your feelings without judgment. Second, using breathing exercises to calm yourself can be beneficial. Third, writing your thoughts down can help assess them objectively and understand the nature of your attraction. The fourth step is to visualize positive scenarios in which you handle the situation respectfully toward yourself and your partner. Finally, the fifth piece of advice is to shift your focus to engaging activities such as sports, creativity, or reading.
As the psychologist concludes, a person cannot control what they feel, but they have full control over what they do with those feelings. This distinction is the key to managing the situation without causing harm to yourself or your relationships.
