The idea that couples must be inseparable 24/7, especially during eagerly anticipated vacations, is gradually fading into the past. In modern Spain, more and more couples are realizing that holidays spent apart don’t have to signal a breakup—they can offer a breath of fresh air. Take, for example, Marcos and Sara from Madrid. After seven years together, they decided to try this experiment for the first time: he went off to explore the Azores, while she spent time with friends in picturesque Asturias. Their decision puzzled the older generation, accustomed to different standards, but for the young couple, it became a way to avoid the notorious post-vacation divorce statistics and to refresh their relationship.
This trend reflects profound changes in the very concept of partnership. Psychologists note that the model of total dependence is being replaced by the concept of interdependence. In these relationships, there is room not only for a shared “we” but also for each partner’s individual “I.” The couple is seen as a system of two self-sufficient individuals, each with their own interests, friends, and the desire to spend time alone from time to time. Therefore, the wish to spend time apart does not necessarily signal problems; more often, it indicates a mature relationship where everyone respects each other’s boundaries. The key to success lies in finding harmony between shared plans and personal desires.
Of course, the reasons behind such a decision are crucial. It’s important to honestly answer a few questions. Do I want to go alone because I’m tired of my partner and can’t stand their presence? Or do I simply need some time for myself, to meet friends, or to pursue a favorite hobby? Maybe it’s just a response to his or her solo trip? If the decision is driven by a desire to escape conflict or as a passive-aggressive reaction, such a trip will only increase the distance. But if it is made consciously and freely by both, it indicates a healthy balance in the relationship. It’s a sign that both people trust each other and aren’t afraid to grant each other freedom.
The foundation for this step, as with many others in a relationship, is open dialogue. Proposing to spend the holidays separately requires sensitivity and good listening skills. Family relationship experts emphasize the importance of empathy. It’s necessary not only to express your own wishes, but also to understand how your partner will feel, to be ready for discussion and compromise. It’s important to talk about the needs of the couple as a whole, as well as the needs of each individual. If, as a result of this conversation, both partners agree that some time apart will be beneficial, then that will indeed be the case. However, if one partner gives in under pressure, it can lead to resentment and emotional distance.
For those considering this format for the first time but feeling fear or guilt, it’s important to analyze the quality of their relationship. Experts recommend starting with an assessment of how much individuality is respected within the couple. If there are difficulties in this area, the feeling of guilt may be a sign of deeper issues that need attention. If the decision has already been made, it’s best to agree in advance on a ‘reunion plan’ and how contact will be maintained during the separation. This can help preserve a sense of closeness and make the post-holiday reunion even more joyful and anticipated.
