The British royal family is once again discussing the famous ‘Balmoral test.’ The occasion was the recent visit of Peter Phillips’ new partner, the eldest son of Princess Anne, to the monarchs’ Scottish residence. Forty-five-year-old nurse Harriet Sperling appears to have passed this unofficial test of endurance with flying colors, joining almost the entire royal family for their annual August retreat. While details of her stay remain private, the very fact of the invitation and shared time with King Charles speaks volumes. This tradition, which dates back to the era of George V, grandfather of Elizabeth II, has become a kind of rite of passage for anyone marrying into the family.
What exactly is this test? Guests are expected to fully immerse themselves in the country lifestyle and adapt flawlessly to local customs. That means enthusiasm for hunting, fishing, cycling and horseback rides, picnics, and long hikes through scenic surroundings. One must be prepared to change outfits up to five times a day, all while maintaining a comfortable country style. And of course, to cheerfully take part in every meal, afternoon tea, and parlor game—never forgetting, even during holidays, the subtleties of royal protocol which are never set aside.
The origins of this tradition are linked to the Queen Mother, Elizabeth Bowes-Lyon, and Prince Philip. Both, with their Scottish roots, were well-versed in local customs and the landscape, which helped them win the favor of the court. However, for brides in recent decades, things have not been so simple. Kate Middleton, for instance, first visited the castle in 2009, two years before her wedding to William. According to courtiers, she fit in so naturally it seemed as though she had spent her entire life there. The late Queen Elizabeth II was so charmed that she even allowed Kate to take photographs on the estate grounds—a privilege usually strictly forbidden. Later, Kate’s parents were also invited, a final sign of royal approval.
A completely different story unfolded with Meghan Markle. Her distance from Scottish traditions was evident from the outset. The former American actress, known for her advocacy for animal rights, openly expressed her disapproval of hunting. Her first official visit to Balmoral after marrying Harry in 2018 only underscored the cultural divide. She reportedly avoided outdoor activities that felt foreign to her. Despite the Queen’s efforts to offer hospitality for the sake of her beloved grandson, a clash of two worlds was inevitable. In the end, the couple declined to join the traditional grouse hunt; the following year, they did not accept the invitation at all, citing Archie’s young age as the reason.
Princess Diana, for her part, initially passed the “test” with flying colors. She charmed the family with her sense of humor, aristocratic manners, impeccable style, and knowledge of protocol. Prince Philip was delighted by her charisma and skill in outdoor games. Coming from one of England’s oldest families, closely tied to the monarchy, Diana seemed the perfect candidate. After her visit, the Queen and the Duke of Edinburgh insisted that Charles should not delay in proposing.
However, passing the “test” successfully did not guarantee a happy life. Diana soon realized that in this family, she would have to completely give up her own identity. In conversations with her biographer, she admitted that at Balmoral she felt “miserable and bored to death.” These weeks, which were supposed to be a holiday, became the most stressful time of the year for her. Her butler, Paul Burrell, later recalled that although the princess grew up in the countryside, she was, in fact, a city girl. She hated everything associated with rural life: horses, mud, and especially hunting, which she saw as barbaric. She spoke with disgust about her first experience—watching a deer carcass being butchered and the ritual of smearing the hunter’s face with blood. Throughout her marriage, she had to endure a world she despised, playing a role “for Carlos.” This Victorian spectacle seemed endlessly far removed from the real life she was leading—fighting AIDS and anti-personnel mines.
Her son experienced similar feelings. In his memoirs, Prince Harry also expressed his disgust at this practice, recalling the nausea and “hellish stench” that accompanied hunting rituals. History repeated itself, proving that mere adherence to tradition cannot replace genuine closeness and understanding.
